The Archives

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hear much talk of disarmament
white terrorized by nuke
urgency nightmare life threatening
contain nuclear is disarming view
time runs quickly
while poverty bombs
wreak havoc in homeland places
central america
communist and capitalist guns
conventional weapons the people bleed
into sand and earth
stains made abstract
in nuclear debate
and elections
while adulthood loses to compromise
children starve in the free world
apartheid and genocide
running rampant
in the belly of the beast
and everywhere the beast can reach
women don't trust men
men don't trust themselves
sexual struggle
class struggle
industrial way
conventional war many faces
acceptable to white
resemble nukes to us
white terrorized by nuke
we aren’t sure of white
as exploitation spreads
through human family
like radio-active breath
relations succumb
nuke be distorted values

John Trudell
Poet Tree Publishing
© 1980
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in the ways that must must

desire is a fire that breathes in our hearts
in this our being brought back together
this is how we’re being brought
this energy is giving our minds time to
adjust to this reunion that can’t be explained
and has spread from the mind to the body
as heat

in the ways that must must
much yet to see drawing us in
feeling the closer closer than distance
woven by light into organic natural relief
glowing the colors of synchronicity
in this feeling of before... ready for now

in the ways that must must

John Trudell
Poet Tree Publishing
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he wanted to give her the total
of what he was
he wanted to speak freely
of things to be understood
he wanted to know her
to let her know him

he wanted more than smiles
so to know the whole
he wanted to share her pains
so to be an ally
he wanted her to meet peace
so to not have to hide
he wanted more than sex
so to not confuse love
he wanted to talk with her
so to prepare themselves
he wanted to clear the mistakes
so to not make them again
he wanted to share the secrets
so to reach the depth of souls

he wanted so much
he went about it all wrong
he wanted a companion
yet ended up alone
he wanted to live
but he might have died

John Trudell
Poet Tree Publishing
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he loved her forever
but she went away

he sends her butterflies
everyone she sees
she flashes on
what could have been
what should have been

now they'll never know
what they'll never know
not able to face reality
not able to face each other

remembering love and anger
made it hard to care
needing themselves together
only to end apart
when they couldn't explain

he sends her butterflies
everyone she sees

John Trudell
Poet Tree Publishing
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feeling like a good time
passed around one time too many
does he crawl through hell
looking for paradise

his mind never finding
what he’s looking for
his heart fell everytime
isolation pushed him to love

good times
erased by bad times
he went through alone
of women who knew him
some cared enough to stay
until he spun his cocoon
losing himself in the dark

some he hurt didn’t hurt him
that is how he hurt himself
he sees their faces yet
some laughing some crying
some love some anger
something to think about
always on his mind

he still has dreams
but dreams not always enough

he needed to unblur his vision
his understanding with life
distorted when he doesn’t
understand himself

feeling like a good time
passed around
one time too many

John Trudell
Poet Tree Publishing
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in a reality of infinite
mixed in the colors of light
he dreamed her in
or she dreamed him in

inter-dimensonal worth
the moon was on fire
burning his heart
scorching like tears on the sun

they were a memory of time
spiraling in circles
earth and water wind and fire
in the shape of human desires

the ancient need for warmth
use to be a physical need from the cold
so they built fires
the contemporary need for warmth
is an emotional need for close warm
from the cold of the impersonal chill

so they’re still building fires

John Trudell
Poet Tree Publishing
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71 years today . . .
Celebrate Love Celebrate Life
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looking through the blurred
of out of sync
watching the sameness
of saneness
in their quest for normal

caught up in the caught up
masks without face
where it's either you or your
ethics that survive
in the survival of no retreat

seen under the the imprint of
believe the lie
let the fantasy devour you
under the sedated
drug of believe what you’re told

in the mirror of truth is illusion
illusion is truth
until you forget who you are
and replace yourself
with your prides and your fears

hoping that things will change
missing the point
its desperation that births hope
so if you want more hope then
you’re going to get some
more desperate with it

it's kinda like they’re lovers
or something

John Trudell
Poet Tree Publishing
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rich man’s war
industrial strengths
class lines money talks
turning language to paper pieces

rich man’s war
free man society
raging violent insecurity
nuclear man nuclear woman
unclear how to act

rich man’s war
pershings cruising Europe
America - Russia
governmental nuclear views
industrial allies cutting the world
as though they cannot see blood flowing

rich man's war
Central America bleeding
wounds same as Palestine and Harlem
Three Mile Island and El Salvador
Pine Ridge and Belfast

rich man's war
the poor
starving for food
starving for land
starving for peace
starving for real

rich man’s war
attacking human
attacking being
attacking earth
attacking tomorrow

rich man's war
thinking of always war
thinking of always war

with machines for ancestors
new unborn generations
chemical umbilical cords
are only wiring
in your electrical progress
human lives burnt offerings
to the god greed

with lies for ancestors
there is no truth in some futures
rulers of minds
feeding next generation souls
to the control machine
sacrifice ritual
for the prophet technology

with isolation for ancestors
there's only the present
bought by the credit material uses
forging chains binding you to destruction
compliments of your deities
the industrial priest

no more than neon flash
trying hiding in eon mask
have to face who we really are
some point we have no choice

distant star distant light
in real world we are human being
in shadow of real world
we are being human

eon mask for neon flash
distant thunder distant cloud
passions reign
drenched in possession
what we take is hard to do
what we do is hard to take

some ones are crazy or
maybe we take turns
dreaming about some kind of life
we say it could have been different
but it wasn't because we weren't

no matter what it turns out the same
lot of things we said weren't true
industrial stories
in an electric instant
eon mask
neon flash neon flash

thing is nihilistic desires
civil lies gone insane
didn't imagine it turning like this
some things start good and go bad
some things get bad and stay bad
are we caught in between
living a lie or not living at all

eliminated choices
lost in dreams we let go
memories we never got to have
something else to think about

waking up in industrial society
surrounded by angry days
going through motions of not being
wanting the best but not expecting it
surviving paid for in dreams

feeling like a world alone
serving god with the devil to pay
feeling like something in no place
what goes on in hell anyway

thing is it has to do with heart
we have to understand
what hearts are for
before we can get back
to heaven or paradise
or the power in our mind

John Trudell
Poet Tree Publishing
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when he told her what he’d done
running around with some other ones
she couldn’t believe this turn of luck
devastation as though she’d been struck
thunderbolt lightening strike in her skies
little girl tears in this woman’s eyes

she tried finding all those words of expression
how to explain these feelings beyond depression
a true man a true man’s love
is it too much to ask
her reach for peace on earth
as shattered glass

trust betrayed
while she saw their love as special
didn’t he know what he’d done
pulling trigger to this gun
like a shot thru her heart
the pain leaves her stunned
twisting hard she questioned
had she done something wrong

is it really all her fault
she always tried and tried
girl and woman
no realities of commitments she made
to this man
to this love
to this bond
to their song

strange news
anger sedates the pain
then pain sedates the anger
real news
a dream in pieces
just another empty hole
picking up pieces has an effect on the soul
each piece places its own weight on the mind
each missing piece an ocean leaving shore behind

life goes on no matter
no matter what we do
what we do
we have to get past these rough waters she’s going through
it’s a long long river and an even longer swim
reality is in how we swim not about how we win

the first time she heard it hurt the most
each time she thinks it hurts the worst
what happened to cherish honor and protect
her dream world before her dream was wrecked

the first time she heard it hurt the most
each time she thinks it hurts the worst

John Trudell
Poet Tree Publishing
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at times the dark
brings thoughts
that don’t want to
be seen in the light

when the glories
and the regrets
forget which is which
but still remember
the prices
that were paid

there was chaos
in the upheaval
of feelings that don't
want to feel
but can’t stop

when the scars that
can't hide
team up with
the ones that can
the closets
open themselves

John Trudell
Poet Tree Publishing
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searing the sky
with tremble
the color of liquid
flame leaking
from her eyes
with the stars melting
in her kiss

pounding in his blood
tattooed in wild
dreams of
light that escaped
into her whirlpool

they held tight to tight
the motion of one
desire running loose
in the ravish

John Trudell
Poet Tree Publishing
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he saw flowers in her eyes
and light floating
from a passion of gentle
in the spectrums of current

the way touches soft feels
to the senses
a poetry of hummingbirds
bringing nectar

feels good just to feel good
when content is enough
the electric rush of rush
has its own frequency

John Trudell
Poet Tree Publishing
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