The Archives

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MIXED EMOTIONSIt’s about how I feelIt’s about youAs these feelings sweep through meI try to sort it all out butIt’s like trying to focus in a gathering hazeConflictingemotions racing my senses with their waves embracing meIt’s about love I guessI’ve seen so much done in that nameAlways it comes back to what’s it all aboutDo loneliness and regretcome disguised as loveonly to remain apartTurning love into a possessive thing but never a possessionAt timesarousing thoughts to make me feel incomplete kind of like standing in the cold feeling the heatYou have a way of making my heart longYet it is so easy for you to put it backmaking me wonderhow can love live in the strainThough I must admitIt’s always an experience ... See MoreSee Less
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2 weeks ago

John Trudell Archives
TRYING TO FORGETThe hardest partof trying to forgetis the rememberingforgetting brings backI thoughtYouwere like the thingsthat have happenedthings and thoughtsI’d put awayButYou are Youmorethan can just be put awayHow frivolous of meto assumeI could regardYouas a thingor a thoughtTrying to forgetonlymakes me rememberemotionswe sharein our spirit heartsthe delights andthe angers so vitalour wildness making usquickto burn bridgesbehind usand ahead of usChanging compromiseto submitlookingfor happinessfinding regretSometimes you appearit’s in a song, a phraseSometimes it's a laughSometimes it’s a visionof you near to meor a remembrance ofa touch, a kissor some silly thoughtwe sharedTimes areI wonder what went wrongmaybe our impatience stopped usfrom taking the time to learnwhat we thought we already knewTrying to forgetonly makes me rememberYou ... See MoreSee Less
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3 weeks ago

John Trudell Archives
THE OCEANI hear the oceansinging her songWe are of Earththe Life Sharethe gift of creationChildren of the EarthDestiny is a dutywe must fulfillWe rememberthe water is our beginningchoosing life before profitthe water is our relativeThe water loves ustelling us her power is realI hear the oceansinging her songWater for Life ... See MoreSee Less
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4 weeks ago

John Trudell Archives
FOR THE CHRISTMAS TREEThe winter purification has returnedthe cold and the snowthe crispness of the airIt is a time for rejoicing and prayerCeremonies, sacrificehumble ways to show we careRespect and concern for our relationsare the way it’s always beenThe invader starts his winter purification with Christmasallegedly he says to honor Christwho he killed, the prince of peaceis now honored with the sacrifice of the TreesThe assassins with their axeswill kill you my relativeand then electrify you with lights and decorationsYou will stand over their gifts and presenceof the confusedThey do not understandYou are SpiritYou must not be abusedThe invaders happinessseems to have no depthTheir Christmas is onlythe giving of gifts and killing of TreesThe peace in sharing is lost in the sellingand the buyingFor them there is always a priceand this is the onethey pay for your needless sacrificeMaybe someday they will knowyou are as real as they areMaybe someday they will get welland we’ll all be safeMaybe someday they will learn Purification ... See MoreSee Less
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1 month ago

John Trudell Archives
WHEN YOU LEFTWhen you leftI knew you had to goWater came into my eyesI criedthen I laughedbecause sometimesI just don’t knowI wanted you to staybutyou weren’t really hereanywayOr if you wereit was just for a whileI’ve run it through my mindandI’ve run it through my heartI loved you morethan I could say or showLike I sayI loved you morebut That’s something only I could knowWater came into my eyesI criedThen I laughedWhat’s the difference anywayLaughing and cryingthe tears taste just the sameI held you but I didn’t hold youAnd in the endI guessI only kept myself ... See MoreSee Less
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1 month ago

John Trudell Archives
I WENT SO WILLINGLYI went so willinglythinkingabout knowingthe beauty of your faceYour smile, your charmdazzledthese sometime broken eyesYour spoken thoughtsof love and laughterplaced the chainsaround meso tightlyI didn’t knowat firstI went so willingly thinking about knowing the beauty of your faceThings went wrongThey often doYou grew to need me lessI went into needing you moreOne day seeing we were both in your pretty prisonAll I could do was escapeI went so willingly thinking about knowing the beauty of your face ... See MoreSee Less
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2 months ago

John Trudell Archives
LIKE A BUTTERFLYLike a butterfly with a fading heartshe needed someone to care for herWhen she couldn’t find itshe ran back to the mistakesAnger an uncomfortably comfortable emotiongreedily spread over those who love hersafer than taking a chanceWhat we try to hide we never canbeyond placing it in ourselvesWounds voluntarily inflictedcreating our own betrayalworrying about being usedas we use up our timescaring away balanced relationshipsMental m-16s mowing down the enemyInsecurity turning trust into targets in a battle we don’t understandwith industrial greed the victorLike a butterfly with a fading heartshe needed someone to care for her ... See MoreSee Less
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2 months ago

John Trudell Archives
HER BEAUTY IS LIKEHer beauty is likea dancer in the nightcarrying rhythmsothers can only imagineEveryone wanted heryet no one kept herbeyond a fleeting moment when all seemed rightShe left on her owndriven awayby what they hadto keep to themselvesHe was one of thosethinking to claimwhat others tooklong agoThey could never sharethe secretsfor secretsare shame’s mistakeskept quietlymaking noise onlywhen crashing downupon themlike invisible wallsnot able to standon their ownwhen they sold beautyfor things their heartsnever understoodpretendingwhat others could not seewas connected to realitythey made it easy to believebut almost impossible to livetogether they traded depth for surfacestrading untilthey traded it all awayfor misunderstandingsHer beauty is likea dancer in the nightcarry rhythmsothers can only imagineEveryone wanted heryet no one kept herbeyond a fleeting moment when all seemed right ... See MoreSee Less
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2 months ago

John Trudell Archives
HIDINGThis morning I went outsideto smile at the sunand walk in the grassrejoice in the early morning dewgive thanks to Mother Earthfor being so openwith her beauty, her sincerityI look around at my human relations, myselfI see so much hidingHiding from so much for so many reasonsI look at Mother Earth in her open waysWhere did we go wrongWe no longer follow our Mother’s lessonsWhy are we hiding from ourselves when there is no place to hideHiding in hidden thoughtsHiding in surface relationshipsHiding in rationalizations hidden from truthHiding in power systems and structures created by usHiding in confusion, ignorance and deceitHiding in humanity while humanity suffersSometimes Mother Earth weepswhile we curse the rainHiding in illusion, struggling against peaceafraid to be what we are or even understand whyRomantic expressions to loved onesto keep them from knowing ourselvesSecrets becoming prisonsinstead of experiencesShame instead of learningLessons pilingonly to be viewed as guiltAlways hiding for the last timeonlyto have to hideone more timeTurning love to something alienGiving birth to insecurity hiding fromone another we go on pretendingo come out of hidingIn these limited relationshipsnever realizingMother Earth offers no place for this hidingShe understands but does not approveof our hiding for we cause herto suffer as all children doWhen they hurt themselvesshe gives of her energyto comfort usshare with us the magnificent creationwhile all we can do is hideMany are the timesMother Earth weeps for usThink I’ll stop hiding ... See MoreSee Less
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2 months ago

John Trudell Archives
NO MATTER WHERE I TRIED TO HIDENo matter where I tried to hideI never couldAlways I have to faceoutward only to be seenfrom insideWhat sense did it make trying to hide?I think hiding in the calm is the hardestOr maybe it was the angermade me feel that wayKnowing the reality is not the same asthe pain the illusionsbrought, like presentsfor a suffering spirit,wrapped in the material I used as a bandage to fill a gaping wound no one could seebut meExpecting others to understandhow I was foolingby hiding in front of themI used up all that I couldbringing some of you with meknowing there was no placefor us to make a peaceby hiding in the pretenseof this is howit was supposed to beFinally when I abandoned youI abandoned meOut in the open for all to seeThen there was nothing to hide ... See MoreSee Less
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7 months ago

John Trudell Archives
IT ALWAYS SEEMEDIt always seemed the best we could donever was good enoughSomehow there was just no getting through to placeswe were searching fortomorrow close ahead of usOur past being in the tensewith yesterday’s laughterechoing in the shadowsof forgotten promisesWe struggle to carry ontaking each dayone at a timethe mending and the breaking creating patterns for our life ... See MoreSee Less
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7 months ago

John Trudell Archives
Hey, AmericaCaucasian connectionI look around at your worldwith its imagery of sameness.I look at all that you havelost to the imageryMy heart hurts for youfor Life is a Balancethat you just can’t seem to findI look at what you have goingaway from youA few times I’ve wonderedwould I trade places?I do not mean to be unkindbut the knowledge of Balanceand the seeing it takes to get therehave helped to show meIf I trade with youprogrammed ignorancewould become my new lack of a wayof LifeFor Lifeis more than material illusionsLife is to be livedand experienced.Life is to seek knowledgeshareon behalf of the natural worldLife is to be spirit and body and harmonywith the UniverseWe will co-exist with youin your machine worldbut we can never join youfor it’s too hard to tellhumans from machines.Ask yourself a questiona question about BalanceCan you understandyour connection to LifeCan you understand your connection to PeaceCan you understand your connection to SecurityCan you understand between happiness and unhappinessCan you understand who needs youCan you understand Right and WrongCan you understand to see? what’s been done to youwho killed your harmony who imprisoned your willwho was it that told you it was alright to attack Earthhow to attack yourself?How much longer will you go on fightingfor money fighting for jobsfighting your relations fighting yourself?How much longer must you go on fighting against the way you are meant to be?You are the children of EarthYou must Resistthe abusers of LifeFight for Earthand be FreeIf you understand . . . Resist . . . ... See MoreSee Less
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